How To Stop Your Fear of Dogs by Phils Happy Dogs

I recently had a conversation with a lady who had a fear of dogs, a term known as cynophobia. This conversation prompted me to write this blog. This blog is aimed at anyone who has a fear of dogs or is unsure how to behave around dogs, whether the dog is new to them or they have a dog approaching them. My goal is to help, to help you overcome your fear of dogs by educating you on how a dog thinks, especially when they approach you. Whether your fear of dogs was because you were attacked by a dog or you witnessed an attack by a dog, maybe even read something that caused your phobia. It could be that a parent or close relative had cynophobia and you learnt it from them, that fear can only be eradicated if you think and act differently around dogs and a phobia will only improve if we think in a different way. So please read on and I will teach you how your fear resonates with a dog and give you the knowledge to improve your interactions and thinking regarding dogs.

The conversation I had with the lady in short went something like this-

Lady " what do you do for a living"

Me " I am an expert in canine psychology"

Lady " I am terrified of dogs because I was attacked by a dog years ago"

Me " I have helped people overcome their fear of dogs, do you want my help?.

Lady in a reticent tone " I have tried to overcome my fear many times, my husband (who was present) loves dogs. The thing that puzzles me is even though he loves dogs they always are more interested in me"

Me "That is because you are acting differently to most people so you are more attractive to a dog because they have neophilia, which is a high desire to investigate anything new. So your actions and fear make you more desirable than your husband"

Lady " That makes so much sense"

Me " Do some dogs start to bark at you after a short while?"

Lady " Yes yes"

Me " That is because they are confused"

I gave the lady some advice on how she should behave in order to help her, yet with any thoughts that we have, if we do not change them ourselves, the outcome will not change.

The first thing that I want you to realise is that 99.99% of dogs do not want to bite you or be aggressive towards you especially if they are off lead in a public space. The only reason I do not write 100% is because all dogs are unique, so there is an ABSOLUTELY RARE chance that the dog is inherently aggressive towards human beings. I use the term inherently because at 8 weeks old no dog has the issues that I see on a regular basis. Dogs are inherently joyful animals. They are also hyper-social, so they want to coexist with all animals. A pack mentality, that is taught to them from birth by their parents and then practiced with their siblings. In my opinion, any dog that bites a human being has been taught to do that by its owners, because they have used tone of voice and told the dog off for being naughty. Unfortunately what an owner does to a dog or allows the dog to do to them is inadvertently teaching aggression and how a dog should greet a human being. I know that is not going to help you if you fear dogs, yet unfortunately it is true that some dogs will approach you or interact with you in a way that is not going to be helpful in your quest to beat your fear of dogs. Accept it and stay calm because with a hand on my heart I promise that they do not want to bite you. Stay calm. Keep your hands by your side or in your pocket and keep them relaxed and still.

With all of that being said I do want you to watch any dog, not in case they bite you but because you will learn how to read a dogs body language. Body language is the primary source of communication in the canine world. Tail position, posture, energy and eye contact all come before vocalisation or aggression. so the more you learn the more confident you will become around dogs. Stay calm.

A little known fact is that a human beings scent changes in different situations, this can be when we are unwell or our mood is different. An example of this is when our scent changes if we have Parkinsons Disease, it is documented that we give off a different odour in a variety of illnesses. Our odour also changes if we are depressed or fearful. Most human beings cannot detect these changes in our scent yet nearly all dogs can. A dogs sense of smell is far greater than a human beings, it is their primary sense. So they can definitely distinguish between the different odours that we human beings emit. In fact our scent, energy and demeanour far exceed our words in any conversation as far as a dog is concerned. Stay silent and calm.

So if we act differently towards a dog than most people do and our body is emitting a fear based odour, we are instantly more appealing to the dog. There is significant truth to this because of a dogs instinct to investigate anything new or unusual. This truth is relevant to you because you need to change the way you go about things so that no dog will feel the need to investigate you. To do this will take self discipline yet the changes in your behaviour will result in a different outcome I promise!

First thing that I need you to do, is to believe me when I say that no dog feels the need to bite you, it definitely does not want to. In order to keep it that way I need you to trust me. If you were bitten in the past, I want you to think of the context of the situation that you were in and what lead up to the bite. Context is everything and it is important to make sure that you are not in the same predicament that you were in when the bite occurred. So always be aware of your situation. Be mindful of your proximity to any dog and the size of the space that you are in, if you find yourself in a similar situation or you doubt the outcome of any interaction with a dog, I want you to calmly remove yourself from the situation in silence before your fear escalates. If you were unfortunate enough to be bitten as you walked down the street or in an open space then I want to remind you of the numerous times that you have seen or passed by a dog without incident, I want you to realise that there are over 10 million dogs living in the United Kingdom peacefully.

If we think that a dog will bite us and act according to that thought, then we will increase the chances of a negative outcome tremendously. Please take time to think of every encounter that you have had with a dog regardless of your proximity to the dog or when you have personally witnessed dogs from near or far, then I want you to focus on how every one of those encounters went without incident and played out positively from at least the dogs point of view. I do not want you to go on line or of of the news or TV for information or listen to gossip and rumours. Just think of every personal time you have seen a dog without any incident. They do not want to bite you and even the ones that do not trust or like human beings would much sooner avoid you than bite you, so if you think a dog is unsure of you make sure that there is enough space for them to avoid you. Do not put yourself in a situation where the outcome is likely to be a negative one or a situation where you will become fearful and show it outwardly. Stay calm and silent.

Secondly I want you to focus on your breathing and little else. I want you maintain small shallow breaths, the way you would if you were laying on a dog free beach or any peaceful situation, a calm soothing breath. The type of breath that accompanies contentment and fulfilment. If your breathing is erratic, it will increase your heart rate and take you into a fearful state which is the exact opposite of what I want you to do. Smile to yourself, smile inwardly, stay calm and breath freely. Feel empowered. Erratic breathing will make you more interesting to a dog because a dogs eyes are developed to detect micro movements and their hearing far exceeds ours so they will hear your deep erratic breaths. They have neophilia which means they are super nosy. They watch us intently because they have nothing else to do. They also like to predict outcomes of situations. So if you are in any way acting differently to the majority of people they are likely to meet then you will instantly become more attractive to an animal that thrives on investigating anything new or different. If you focus on your breathing and focus on remaining calm then you will be less focused on any dog. I am a true believer in focusing on what I can control and never the thing I cannot control. So I want you to focus on what you can control which primarily is your breathing and inner feeling and never focus on what you cannot control which is the dog, whether it is on or off lead you have no control over the dog or the dog owners so never focus on them until you have overcome your fear, only focus on yourself remaining calm and breath freely.

Equally as important to nice, calm rhythmic breathing is your energy and your demeanour. As I mentioned earlier our energy and demeanour far exceed our voices in any conversation with a dog. Let me briefly explain what I mean. No dog on this planet inherently knows our language or words or have our thoughts. Human beings do not inherently know words, we teach them by using passive repetition over many years and then marvel as they piece it together, yet we think our dogs know our language, a huge miseducation of dog owners in the western world. Then to rub salt into a wound we think it is the tone of our voice, which does nothing more than teach a dog that if you want control you use aggression, nothing more. I promise you that no other animal outside of human beings knows a human language. It is called anthropomorphism when we think they do. My energy when I am working with my customers dogs is always calm, yet I am assured in what I am doing and in what I want to achieve. My focus is always on the positive outcome of any situation. By focusing on the outcome of any situation it ensures that my energy is correct and because my minds eye is on a positive outcome I am doing my level best to achieve a positive result. I never ever use words when I am working with my customers dogs to highlight how useless words are. Please stay silent and calm with an internal image of a positive outcome and your energy will be perfect for a better result. Leadership in dogs is about controlling and setting the energy of the pack, not who is the most aggressive. I want your demeanour to be smooth and strong, almost fluid yet retaining an air of determination, a determination of the positive outcome. No sharp or sudden movements and keep your hands still and nowhere near a dog, put them in your pockets if you have to. Human beings put out our hands for a dog to sniff us, yet if a dog is going to bite us and we shove a hand in their face, they will bite our hands. A dogs nose is that powerful they already know what you smell like before you meet and putting something into their personal space if they are unsure is asking for a dog to nip. Do not run away or take a backward step. If you have to leave a situation then do so at a necessary pace, try your level best not to run, whilst staying calm and silent, it is the same if you want to give yourself distance from a dog, do it calmly and in silence. Always look straight ahead, never down at a dog and never away from a dog. Until you have more confidence and you can actually look at a dog, always look straight ahead. A large part of how a dog communicates with other dogs and animals is through eye contact, so when you look straight ahead, to a dog you are showing confidence whilst not being a threat. When we look away or turn away we show no threat yet we also show a lack of confidence which could in itself make you more appealing. In your peripheral vision you will still be able to watch the dog in a large part. Only look down at the dog if you really need to. Look straight ahead in silence with strong energy and relaxed breathing and you will see a difference in the way dogs react towards you. Try not to stop moving. If you are walking along, keep walking. If you have to divert, do it in one motion keep moving. I do not want you to tense up and I want you to practice passing dogs whilst noticing how little issue there is. Tens of millions of people walk by dogs every day without issue or incident. You can do it too, you just have to believe it. Try to visit places where you can encounter or watch dogs from a distance, you will soon learn how they communicate and how their body language shows intent. You will also develope a feeling that the dogs wont want to engage or care about you. As you get more confident move closer and keep getting closer until you can pass a dog without fear. Walk tall and proud with confidence. Look straight ahead and focus only on smooth breathing.

A dog will be more attracted towards you regardless of intent if you act differently to most of the people it encounters. STAY CALM you can do it and dogs want that too. A stress free life.